


Social Readjustment Rating - 50

by SrebrnaFH



Series: Monday Fix-Its [22]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence - The Sign of Three, F/M, Life Stress Inventory, Napkin folding, Wedding preparation, stress and anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:09:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21568927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SrebrnaFH/pseuds/SrebrnaFH
Summary: Sherlock folds serviettes and has ideas.
Relationships: Mary Morstan/John Watson, Sherlock Holmes & John Watson
Series: Monday Fix-Its [22]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1190245
Comments: 6
Kudos: 60





	Social Readjustment Rating - 50

**Author's Note:**

> This one doesn't end with Johnlock directly, but I promise, they should be on the right track now ;)

He might have been fibbing about the serviettes, but Mary was straight-up lying. As in, lying liar who lied. His ears were perfectly good and he hadn't heard her phone buzzing. or doing anything else. Also, he hadn't heard anyone on the other end when Mary was pretending to talk to "Beth".

And now John said something about "Beth" too and was joining Mary in a whispered discussion in the kitchen.

Not. Good.

Sherlock's fingers danced and he folded another piece of fabric in the Sydney Opera House shape. Who knew people actually did all of this crazy preparation for just one evening.

He had googled this stuff, yes. Apparently the institution of marriage had so much ceremony (and not only the church kind) around it and grown over it and attached temporarily to it that people needed wedding planners to simply get stuff coordinated. Like, the colours of flowers. Or maids' dresses. Or the type of boutonniere the groom was supposed to have. Even the styles of wedding rings were something governed by fashion and required consultants to be involved.

He scoffed internally at the thought of the thin, golden bands Mary and John had picked. Gold was not right for John. He would have given him something more reliable. Titanium. Or brushed platinum. Or...

He coughed, straightened himself and looked down. Somehow, he had folded three more napkins without really paying attention to them. If his detective job at some point went bad, he apparently had a backup solution right there - he would be able to work as napkin folder. If there was someone like that. if not, well, he would be the only one in the world. Another totally invented job.

As if it made him in any way more interesting.

Hah.

Another serviette joined her sisters on the coffee table. Who knew being that deep in depressing thoughts made him so dexterous. Who knew, if he remained in this level of low spirits some more, maybe he'd learn to knit at some point? Mrs Hudson would be willing to teach him, most probably. Or maybe it was crochet, what she did? He'd have to work out the differences between them. Very import...

Three more napkins on the table and he had ran out of free space. Ah well, floor was clean enough nowadays, since he became a bit obsessive about gaining control of his life again. if possible.

Nothing was under his control, not anymore. Everyone had grown away and somehow moved on and he was still there, stuck in his old flat, in his old... old everything. And helping his best friend get married.

Three more napkins.

He put them in a neat row on the floor and looked at them, trying to gather his thoughts. Not typical for him to be _that_ absent-minded.

They were now talking in the kitchen, voices low.

He tried not to listen. It would be _good_ not to listen and he was trying to be good, right?

"...terrified..."

"...not."

Mary thought that _who_ was terrified? John?

Was John terrified?

Of what? Getting married?

After all, this was what he had always wanted, right?

A wife, a house, a dog, a kid...

A kid?

Were they having a kid?

Maybe this was what John was terrified of?

That would be unexpected. John was the epitome of responsibility, he would have planned this carefully, like a military campaign...

But John was also emotional. Highly emotional. Prone to anger, falling in love, falling out of love, sudden changes of mood. John went with these emotions, allowed them to rule him.

Maybe... Maybe they went and just _did it_?

Sherlock shivered.

Another serviette stood in front of him, folded carefully, and then there was John, looking at him intently.

Talking.

All Sherlock could think of were John's eyes, watching him with something akin to... to sadness? Why would John be sad? Marriage was supposed to be all about happiness, right? Even if _Sherlock_ wasn't the most enthused person around, the groom was supposed to be somewhat content with the whole... thing.

He shrugged and checked his inbox, just as John asked him to. There had to be something appropriate for a groom to be let off the hook by his lovely bride, at least for an afternoon or two, right? If John wanted an out, Sherlock would give him an out. That was what friends were for, after all.

His hands froze on the keyboard.

John was terrified of something, but trying to hide it from Mary.

If...

Based on Holmes (no relation)-Rahe Stress Inventory, of all events in life, marriage was about as 2/3 times as stressing as divorce, coming seventh on the list of most stressing things that could happen to a human being (the first six being all about marital trouble, injury, death or jail). Even getting fired was supposedly less stressing than getting married. After all, you got fired at one specific point in time and then it was done, but preparation to the anxiety-ridden angst-fest of a Saturday could take a year! Or more!

All of them meant drastic changes in life.

All meant sudden stress and peaks of annoyances, heaping one after the other.

Sherlock made a swift calculation of stressors that had recently appeared in John's life.

Death of a close friend.

Change of work.

Moving flats.

Finding a new life partner.

Preparation for the wedding.

God only knew how many stress points could be attached to "close friend coming back from the dead" but if wedding was at 2/3 of the score given to divorce, then he'd just add the "death' points again, to make it similar.

All together?

John _had_ to be stressed. Terrified. Absolutely, completely shaking in his boots.

Also, if Sherlock's calculations were correct, on the verge of nervous collapse due to overload of stressing events in his life over the previous twenty-four months, of which Sherlock was personally guilty of quite a few. Quite.

There weren't that many solutions to the problem. He couldn't undo the past events - he couldn't make himself less dead, or correct his behaviour at landmark, however much he would have wished to. He couldn't remove _Mary_ from the equation (however tempting that might be), since at this point it would have been disappearance and/or death of a close friend/spouse which would also add to John's stress.

Sherlock, being quite honest, did not want to remove _himself_ from John Watson's general vicinity, so he couldn't consider isolating himself for the good of his friend and anyway, most probably, it would have again upped John's stress level, and even more this time, since it would have been a virtual repetition of his first disappearance, just with less drama and props usage. No, removing people from John's closest circle was not a solution, even if these people brought the stressors into his everyday life (like Sherlock) or caused him to make life-changing decisions (like Mary).

Also, _he_ didn't want to remove himself from john Watson's vicinity, because Sherlock didn't feel like he was quite as able to remain alive and moderately upright once his friend was gone. What reason would he have had to carry on? Hm?

John asked him something and Sherlock answered, probably a bit randomly, but then most of his brain was taken by powerful calculation of...

...of John's stress levels.

And there was no way to alleviate what had already happened. One could not turn time, not matter how much one wished one had. There was no way to undo Moriarty, undo Adler and... And everything else that had so much damaged the both of them.

Damaged John.

Who knew what else happened when Sherlock was away.

Well, Mary, but she wasn't talking.

Whatever it had been, there weren't that many options how to deal with the mounting levels of John's stress, except to remove the most glaring potential stressors immediately.

John had to... not get married.

Why couldn't they just stay as they were? Living together, meeting early in the morning to share tea and check the paper, going outside, taking cases...

...no, no. This was Sherlock and John, not Mary and John. He was supposed to be thinking about Mary and John. They could have stayed together, just as they were, yes? Just like they were, no changes needed, no big revolutions... Why get married? Who needs the institution of marriage? Who needed to be held by their hand to promise not to sleep around!

After all, John wouldn't. Sleep around. He loved Mary so much, Sherlock sometimes felt a bit queasy watching them.

At least for that case Mary would be at home and he would be alone with John. He would have to work on John to... To make him give up on the idiotic plan of the whole ceremony and... And getting married.

But why, Sherlock, should your best friend, unexpected ladies' man and the straightest man on this street and three on each side, consider your input as valid and attach value to the conviction that you felt about his mental hygiene and therapy?

No. John would not consider this a proper diagnosis. Sherlock wasn't a doctor, so he couldn't realistically expect John to allow Sherlock's "diagnosis" as important part of the argument.

But what _would_ John see as Sherlock's professional opinion, to which Sherlock was entitled? What would John accept as truth if Sherlock told him? Evidence. Hard proof of something specific, linked to the whole wedding thing and giving Sherlock an opening that would allow him to show John, see, that's why you can't get married.

But then, what would potentially be a valid reason to call off the whole party and would be less stressing to John than the marriage itself? John being ill? No, it was more stressing. And John was a doctor, so there was no way, again, that he would accept Sherlock's input in the matters.

Mary being ill.

No, that didn't fit. Less stressing than marriage, but usually not a reason for calling off the wedding. Quite to the contrary.

What... what could potentially lead to engaged people not ending up in front of the altar?

Irreconcilable differences. Did Mary and John have these? They didn't seem to.

One cheating on the other. Hah. As if. John would never cheat on his fiancee. Once he was set on his course, there weren't many things to pull him off it. In the past, of course, there was Sherlock, but Mary seemed weirdly accepting of John's little side-job of sidekicking.

Which was, as such, rather unusual.

Sherlock sat up in the empty flat - why was it empty? And covered with folded napkins? - and considered Mary.

He breathed, made a valiant attempt at relaxing and reviewed the footage room of his brain.

Mary Morstan, wannabe Watson.

Blonde (bottle, but that was not enough reason to break it off with her). Smart. Very smart. Educated, a nurse. That required some dedication. Definitely could keep up with John, occasionally even with Sherlock himself. Very smart, actually. Very.

Also.

Lying.

Sherlock breathed in slowly, bringing his senses under control again.

Why-oh-why did he have the feeling that there was something very, very wrong about Mary?

Inhale.

Exhale.

In.

Out.

In... hold... hold... out.

Their flat. Lack of photos.

Mary's hair.

Mary's accent. Mostly almost-perfect unspecified-British, but.

Mary's smiles.

Mary's smiles, which, by contrast to John's smiles, were always a fraction of a second off. As if she had to consider carefully whether she was supposed to show merriment.

Mary's quick reactions.

Mary's smarts.

Mary's weird phone calls. No, not the ones from "Beth". The other ones, when a male voice spoke from the other end...

"..lock? Sherlock?"

Oh. John. Probably came because of the case.

He slowly let the Mind Palace go, emerging gradually.

"I've brought that coffee you liked," John handed him the cup of black nectar of the gods. "And I think we should get moving, right?"

"No hurry," he stretched. "I did some digging and I have some ideas. But, John..." he looked up and sipped his coffee. "I think we need to talk, before this all goes too far."

His friend slowly slipped down, down, towards his chair.

"What goes too far, Sherlock? What do you mean?"

_How to say this._

_Mary isn't who she seems?_

_Mary is lying?_

_Mary doesn't exist?_

He had to start somewhere.

"It's about Mary..."

**Author's Note:**

> Edit:  
> Also, since I’m dumb and didn’t add the link: [Holmes- Rahe Stress Inventory](https://www.stress.org/holmes-rahe-stress-inventory) \- this is the stress inventory Sherlock is referring to.


End file.
